Family conflicts and ways to overcome them
Say AMPsaluysta met any of you married couple that zhyvet without litter and without conflicts? I doubt it. Each of us is too different that we have always lived in harmony. Since all future spouses are raised in different families with completely different ideals and traditions, the values ??of these spouses are likely to be completely opposite. Therefore, withall surprising fact that even in the happy couple from time to time there are serious family conflicts.
If we consider the family conflicts and methods to overcome them, we can say that in our time the problem is quite urgent. So when viewed family traditions remeasured - Institute of Family menyaetsI was literally on.
Let's understand why there are conflicts, it would seem, at first glance, friendly and loving family? Such reasons can be many.
- Which of the spouses is not enough attention (affection, tenderness);
- Does a difficult living situation where the spouses have to live in an apartment with parents of husband or wife;
- The couple different views on: the division of household work, leisure activities, education of children;
- One or both spouses suffer from sexual dissatisfactionrelations.
Enumerate such reasons can be very long. But more important, not the causes of family conflicts, and methods of overcoming them. Family psychologists in such cases, give a couple of tips on how to build relationships and do not allow any small family conflict escalated in the middleezny scandal.
Discuss a time only one problem
For example, the conflict arose from the fact that her husband spends too much time with friends, not with you. In such cases, you need to discuss with her husband only this problem. Do not try to think of other sins partner, because it is not relatedI directly to your current conflict. All other issues you can discuss later. Initially, you need to come to an agreement on the main issue.
You should never become personal
If your husband's salary is more than you are not satisfied, then it is unlikely that the reason for this is its breweroh belly. You should not offend your partner because it will not resolve the conflict, but on the contrary - in this situation, your partner will try to protect themselves and the answer may begin to insult you. As a result of this conflict will grow into a scandal with mutual insults. A major problem and will not be solved.
Neverand do not let your family conflict third parties
This is a very bad idea to involve your family conflict or close relatives. So if in this quarrel you try to hurt someone from friends or relatives of your husband, he will surely be on their defense. That's why such phrases as: "Of course I do not knowso cook like your precious mother "100% will not lead to the resolution of your conflict.
Do not generalize
Let's assume that your husband has always been attentive and suddenly forgot the birthday of his beloved mother in law. In such would be wrong with resentment in his voice to say to him: "You have never nothing MaugerNIL remember. "This statement is totally unfair, especially if the husband himself is usually reminds you of all your important dates. The reason for this sudden forgetfulness could be anything, for example, a huge workload at work.
Do not meddle in the evening
According to the statistics: the majority of family conflicts going on in the evening hours. This is not surprising: the whole day accumulated irritation and fatigue, and lack only the 1st spark to quarrel broke out. Here is a situation where very late in the evening you will have the desire to make a few claimsher husband, the best way to keep yourself and to postpone the conversation until morning. It is quite possible that in the morning you feel the problem is not as significant, or you can find a more appropriate way to resolve this conflict.
Learn how to confess guilt
It is very important time to understand when you are wrong.If you have no strength to immediately admit they were wrong, then you at least need postaratsya in time to stop the conflict. And to do it is not difficult, sometimes enough just to go to another room or shut up.
Here's another tip: Before you start a fight with your wife or husband, think, and what exactly you want to achieve?In addition there are some people who can use a variety of conflicts to resolve the situation in their favor. In all conflicts there are both negative and positive aspects. So after a quarrel loving people can come to a common decision on their concerns and, in the future, the issue is no longer bother them.
And now remember whether you have situations where you managed to successfully overcome any conflict, and in consequence you remember him with a smile and thought, "How could we quarrel because of this nonsense! ". And maybe this conflict should not be soAkiho emotions? If you are unable to solve your conflict, then you should see a specialist. Get advice vymozhete family psychologist.