Mother in law
Unfortunately, not the most pleasant associations occur in mind of many women at the mention of the words mother in law. After her marriage she gets not only a beloved husband, support and protection from various tribulations but also a second family. And if the relationship with the father in law usually quickly become warm, then its not easy to find a common words with new mom. We can assume that you are lucky, if you established a respectful neutrality with the mother of your husband, and often everything happens much worse. Disputes, swearing, "pulling the blanket to yourself", conflicts in which unwittingly involves the whole family, all this leads to discord of the lives of young, and sometimes provokes a divorce. What to do to keep family harmony and save your nerves?
Even our grandparents had a saying about the two hostess at one plate, and it is - the real truth. Therefore, as soon as possible, try to resettled from the parents of your husband, to create your own cozy nest, where you will be full hostess. And on the rights of hostess of the house you can take in guests even the devil himself, and not just the mother in law. You can give to drink a tea for your dear mother, to talk about the latest news and boast a new hat (picture, brush for dust)? and not fear to break the established over the years in this house way of life, because it is your house. And coming in guests to mother in law on holidays, you will feel and behave yourself accordingly to decorum. Such division of household will not generate jealousy and spirit of competition in each of you, so you will keep the fondest memories, about the infrequent meetings.
Here, it would seem, mother in law rarely seen daughter in law, but relationships anyway do not exactly succeed, and there can be a lot of reasons for this. Even if you meet with a second mother three times a year on a great holidays, you should not forget about the rules of decent behavior of daughter in law. Firstly, never criticize the mother in law in the face in presence of her beloved son, and even more behind his back. Fight for the championship in this league is absolutely useless occupation, and if something is done wrong, you can very easily lose. The correct policy will increase the area of the honorable first place, or, at worst, there will become two first places. Even if the relationship between the female part of the triangle are more than strained, genuine friendliness will help to defuse the situation. If you can not be friends with your mother in law, do your best not to become enemies. Remember, that exactly this woman gave you your man, exactly she has brought up him so, which you loved him. It's honorable work, which demands respect.
But at the same time, do not forget about yourself. If the mother in law is very actively interfere in your affairs, its worth to show the hardness of your position. Listen to her advices and suggestions, do a note for yourself if something of said above life experience can come in handy, but give a firm understanding that the final decision you will make independently on your young family council. Show a careful mother of your husband, that him and you are not small children, who need constant care, that you are adult people, who can make a decision and stand up for themselves in case of need.
If you are gifted above with adequate new mom, she will appreciate your efforts to improve relations. If you do not luck, and the case seems to be clinical, think of everything that happens with humor, it will extends your long and happy family life.